The Carnival

The Carnival

The sun was disappearing into the hills surrounding the valley. Rosie felt chilled as the intense August heat vanished with the sun. The carnival rides started to become illuminated with only the lights that abundantly adorn them. It would be like Christmas if not for all the unnerving shadows cast by the oblivious passerby. Rosie had no reason to be afraid of the dark, she was nearly an adult. However, she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone somewhere was watching her… Oh, where IS Tad? Maybe coming to the End-of-the-Summer carnival for a first date wasn’t a good idea after all. Especially if your date ditches you to check out some chicks even though he said he was getting some cotton candy. It doesn’t take half an hour to get cotton candy. Another chill ran down Rosie’s back as that being-watched feeling came back. She pushed her short dark hair behind her ear before rubbing her goosebump covered arms.

            “BOO!” Rosie spun around, green eyes wide.

            “Oh, Rob!” Rosie exclaimed in a disapproving tone but mentally sighing in relief. Rob was a tall, gangly kid with dirty blonde hair and lots of freckles who lived down the street from Rosie. They’ve known each other forever and treated one another like siblings. “What are you doing here?”

            “You know that everybody who’s anyone in our town comes to this! It is the last hoorah of summer! Also, a little birdy told me that you’d be here with that tool Tad Drayton. Where is he by the way?”

            “Be nice! He just so happens to be getting us some cotton candy.”

            “Mmhmm. My spidey sense tells me you’re lying.”

            “It’s true. That’s exactly what he told me when some scantily dressed chick made his eyes pop out of his head.”

            “Haha! That sounds like the Tad I know. Come on, let’s go have fun. Hell will freeze over before Tad remembers he actually brought a date to this.” Although it kind of stung to be forgotten by her date Rosie knew what she was getting into when she agreed to go out with Tad. Plus, she felt safe with Rob, like nothing could touch her. Although he didn’t look like much he was well trained in the art of Jujitsu.

            “Deal. Bet you’ll get queasy before me on the Tilt-a-Whirl!” Rosie said starting to jog toward the ride.

            “That’s not even fair! You know I have a weak stomach!” Rob shouted after her.

            After several rides Rob was walking with his arm around Rosie as they joked about a super enthusiastic ride conductor. With the darkened sky they hadn’t noticed the clouds rolling in until a raindrop fell on Rosie’s cheek. Knowing about the impending downpour they both looked around frantically for some shelter. Rosie Pointed toward the parking lot which was about a hundred yards off and Rob pointed toward the Tunnel of Love ride that was only 20 yards away. Rosie raised an eyebrow but the downpour had started so they booked it to the tunnel. They paid their respective tickets and got in the boat.

Their boat slowly meandered towards the tunnel and they were pointing out all the little kids hoping to get some kisses in the dark tunnel. As they got closer to the tunnel they could hear a crackly version of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” playing over old, crappy speakers. Rosie started giggling about the irony of the situation; riding through the Tunnel of Love with a guy she grew up with as they listened to same song that played as childhood friends fell in love with each other in a movie. Just as she was about to comment on this she felt something warm and smooth push against her lips. They were in the middle of the tunnel now so it was pitch black and she couldn’t see what this warm thing was. Then she could feel warm breath on her cheek. She instinctively pulled back as she realized the smooth warm something was Rob’s lips and he was kissing her.

“I’m sorry. I thought you were having fun tonight and that we had a connection” Rob started.

“I was having fun tonight and we do have a connection. We’ve known each other all our lives. We’re best friends. I mean – “

“I was out of line. That was unacceptable. I apologize. I will stay over here now.”

“No Rob, that’s not what I – “

“No, I understand. I’ll just take you home n– “ Rob was cut off by Rosie’s lips on his. After what seemed like a split second a disgruntled carnie was loudly clearing her throat signaling for them to get out of the boat.

And this is how the unstoppable couple Rob and Rosie came to be. 

The Reflection Network

Welcome to the Reflection Network. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me access to the mirror of Dabrina Cullen. Ah, dancing again. How about Sierra Erics? Practicing for an interview. Show me Spike Dunnam. Does he ever do anything but write angst-y scream-o songs? How about Rebecca Ardmore? She’s always interesting to watch. Ooh, she’s writing in her diary. Let’s listen in.

                “If only I were a fly on the wall

Then I could land and get to see all

I would see what he’s like when he’s with his folks

I would get to see if he laughs when he tries out new jokes

I could see what he does when no one looks

Watches funny movies or reads intriguing books

If he’s really as perfect as I paint him to be

Or if that’s only the guy that I wish to see

I could see if what he says is just talk

But what I might see that he walks the walk

I could hear him singing in the shower

Or see his radiant scripture power

He’s just so great that I’d really like to see

That the way I feel ‘bout him, he feels about me”

Ugh, gushy poetry. But wait. Who’s she writing about? Did I flip to this channel too late? Come on sweetie, just tell me who and make this channel worth it.

                “Blake, why do you always go for the shallow, pretty chicks instead of girls like me?” Ah, Blake. Whoa, your countenance got dark Becca. I mean, you’re a pretty girl with your green eyes and auburn hair. What girl is making you feel like this? Hmm, maybe I should tune into Blake’s channel and see what’s up… Let’s look at the directory! Blake, Blake, Blake, lots of Blakes… What’s his last name? She didn’t say his last name! Ummmm…Hey, I forgot to search by the province. That will limit results. Okay… There. But there are still five Blakes! Ah! But only two within a mile of Rebecca! Let’s try Blake Zatarra.

“What would Mom say if I got my tongue pierced?” I don’t think he’s the right one… Let’s try the other one; Blake Lillinquist.

“I know Lydia is hot but she doesn’t have much substance.” This looks right.

“Blake, you’ve got to be kidding me.” A freckly-faced short guy with red hair was staring incredulously at who, I assumed, was Blake. He was a nice-looking guy with his brown faux-hawk and bright green eyes but everything about him seemed a little darker because of his mood. “Lydia is smokin’ hot!”

“Awesome, you can have her, Skyler. I’d rather have a girl who’s deep and writes poetry or something else passionate.” Hmmm…Like Becca… Let’s get back into her. Wait, what?

Error: No Network Found.  Reflection Network unavailable. 

Rachel

Rachel

                I absolutely hate having to do all our homework on the internet. Not because the internet connection in my apartment sucks. Not because my laptop blew up last semester and I’m using my dad’s ancient, dinosaur of a laptop until I can afford a new one. No I hate it because it feeds the “Rachel” fire. Rachel is the sickness in me that urges wasting time, especially on the internet. You wouldn’t believe how many websites there are devoted to wasting your time. Also, many films are devoted to this same thing. Because of Rachel I’m a procrastinator, a time-waster, and a movie junkie.

                I decided to call her Rachel during high school. One of those high school days my friends were seeing what their names meant on urban dictionary. Since my name’s not a typical one I asked my friends what my average name would be. They decided that I looked like a Rachel so that must be a part of me. Now my sickness had a name.

                Let me summarize the average day for me. I’m doing my homework and as I’m contemplating how I would answer it Rachel starts talking. When does Mockingjay part 2 come out? What movie do we want to watch this weekend? Shut up Rachel. I’m doing my homework. But aren’t you curious about the movie? Just look it up real quick. You’re already at the computer. Okay but I’m just googling it then getting back to work. Okay, now I’ve seen it. Ooh, let’s look at things we want to shop for. No Rachel. I still have to do my homework. Plus, you know our bank account is suffering because the last time you got out of hand.

                Two questions later she’s bothering me again. Let’s look at want we want for Christmas! You know Mom will be asking for a list sooner or later. No, I have to get back to work Rachel. Well what about for our family members? We love our family and want to make them happy. I will look once I get done with this assignment. But that’s going to take forever! Patience is a virtue my dear. I only have three more questions to answer, okay? Just leave me alone for that long.

Did you see the cute boy looking at you? What should we wear to our date this weekend? Rachel! I’ve only done two questions. You didn’t keep our agreement. But you’re so boring Devree! At least listen to some music so that I can quiet myself a bit. Well if that will shut you up I will listen to my iPod. Well it feels wrong to listen to Panic! At The Disco and My Chemical Romance while I’m doing my religion homework. I guess I’ll listen to some instrumentals on YouTube. Ah, Hans Zimmer. Perfect. Now what responsibilities do husbands and wives have in marriage? A husband and wife should…

Is Jennifer Laurence really pregnant? Because Mom said she was. That would be really sad because she’s not married and we love... Rachel, I beg you. Please let me get one assignment done. Just stay quiet that long. Will you do that for me?  Fine. But you should hurry up so we can watch Bones on Netflix. We have way too much to do to spend time that way. You realize we’re failing two classes, right? Okay, okay. I get it.

She’s the worst when I’m working. I work in the library and at the east wing and third floor they have you check databases and research guides to make sure the links are working. This is so boring Devree!!! Let’s look at funny memes about babies. No, this is my job. I’m getting paid for this hour of checking links. Ugh, this is really boring. That’s right. And no one is watching. Just open another tab. Maybe for a second…Yes! Yes. Yes…No. We’ll wait until we’ve been here for a full hour and if the next person is slow replacing me we’ll do it. Uuuuugh. Groan. Did you not hear me? This is my disgust tone.  Quiet, I’m working. You’re hopeless.

Okay Rachel. I have a compromise for us. Since homework and spiritual things are more pertinent to our salvation I will work on that for twenty minutes straight then take five minute breaks between each twenty minute section to do something fun and amusing. And then after my assignment is completed I’ll take a fifteen minute break. What do you say? Well, I suppose that will work… And I’m not supposed to pipe up at all during your twenty minute segments? That’s the plan. I know it will take you some practice but I know you can do it. Do we have a deal? Deal. But… Rachel!

Warm Corpses

For this assignment I was told to write and Ekphrastic piece with comments on another work of art. Mine is about a movie. Can you guess which one? Comment below what you think.

Warm Corpses

I'm so white. I should go out more. I should exercise more. My personal health is awful. I should do something with my hair. People would respect me more if I cared about my appearance. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people?
      Oh, right. It's because I'm dead.
      I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy's dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jeez we look awful.
      I think they called me “Rai.” I don’t remember what my name really was. And I don’t remember who “they” are. I guess that’s better than most zombies. They don’t have any semblance of what their name was before. The might have a letter or a sound but that’s it. Also I’m a sort of collector. I collect all kinds of human things. I guess I have such a strong desire to be alive again and all these trinkets makes me feel more alive

One day, while my comrades and I were in the city looking for “food” I saw a delicious-looking specimen. I mean, he was muscle-y and I could tell there was a large brain in that head to consume. However, I wasn’t really hungry looking at him. Some other feeling had washed over me. I didn’t know what it was but I knew that I had to have him to figure it out. However, some other chick was looking at him meaningfully and I just knew she had to go. I ran over and jumped on her back making her fall to the floor.

Fwack! Huh, that was easy. Usually takes two or three cracks to break the sculls. Must be getting better. Ah, yes! The brains are leaking out now. Let’s keep these in my pocket for later. Now for that man candy. I still didn’t want to eat him. What was wrong with me? He looked tasty enough… Maybe I’d take him back with me and figure out what was wrong with him. He used up all his bullets on my buddies and all he had left was a jack knife which he threw into my chest. Ha, like that would stop me. Come on dude, I’m not even going to eat you right now.

He was turning away and looking for some other kind of weapon but I’d tackled him to the ground before he could find anything. He was struggling but I tried to tell him I wasn’t going to eat him. Fine, don’t understand. Alright. I’ve got him. Now I just needed to get him home. Aww man. I forgot about my comrades. How am I going to get him out of here without them noticing that I am bringing a human back with me?

Ugh, why do I have to be so weird? Why can’t I just do what I’m supposed to and go with the flow? Well, I got this far. I wiped some of the old blood off my mouth and wiped it on his cheek. Then I ripped of a strip of the scarf I was wearing and tied it around his arm. He smelled like a corpse a little bit and I figured it would fool the rest of the clan. Oh stop gagging, it’s not that bad. I held a finger to my mouth in the universal signal for “shut up or they’ll catch you” and started to pull him with me to the center of the group. I guess he was terrified that someone would chomp on him if he started to move away, screamed, or remove the stuff I put on him so he stayed beside me.

Well this is working out. I’ve had him for a few days and no one’s been the wiser. However, he’s tried to run a few times. He needs human food so I’ve been trying to find whatever I can for him but he doesn’t trust me. I can’t understand why. I’m a likable, loyal chick. Oh yeah, maybe it’s because my kind eats his kind.

I’ve got to figure out why I want to keep him. It’s not so that I don’t have to leave to find food anymore… it’s not because I want to be the odd one who breaks the norm…What is it? I know he’s bored out of his mind. He keeps demanding to go but I can’t let him go. Why? Because I want to keep him. I don’t want to eat him and I don’t want anyone else to. I want him to live. Live. Live. Live. Love. Live.

Wait what was that other one? Love? I’ve seen that word. I know that word. Is that what I’ve been feeling? What am I supposed to do with that feeling? As I wandered around the mall we call home I saw a poster that says “A life without love is no life at all.” But I’m a corpse. I’m not alive. My life is over. Near the poster I see written “What if he’s you’re Prince Charming but you’re not his Cinderella?” Oh. So love is a two way thing. So if he doesn’t love me it’s not love? I wonder how he actually feels.

I hurry back to the shop I’ve determined is my place and see that he’s not there anymore. He’s gone. I guess I’ll never know now.

What a Bleeding Mess!

What a Bleeding Mess!

One Friday, I’d arranged to go grocery shopping with my brother and pick up my prescription after class. My class was in the Smith building and on the third floor so I tried to hurry and get out of there before the swarm came. As I was hurrying I tripped over myself and fell so fast I didn’t have any time to catch myself. I fell flat on my face. On that very, hard, unforgiving tile. The first thing I noticed was an intense pain in the center of my face. Next, I noticed the flower of blood forming on the floor. Finally, I noticed my audience; five very attractive men.

Despite my knowledge of those men watching, I started to cry because I was in pain. Then I cried harder because I was embarrassed to be crying like a baby in front of all those guys. They were really kind and sweet though. They ran to the bathroom to get paper towels and helped me mop up my blood. I was leaning forward so I wouldn’t get any blood on my clothes and it was still gushing from my nose like a fire hydrant. Blood was also coming from the bridge of my nose where my glasses cut me when they snapped in half. I hadn’t noticed that happened until I started to get up and one guy handed me half of my specs. The other half had flown into the office of a professor who had his door open.

After all the blood got cleaned up (the tile made that much simpler), the guys supplied me with some paper towels to catch the blood still dripping from my nose. I thanked them sheepishly between some sniffles. One of the guys requested to walk me home because: one, I couldn’t see with my glassed busted up and two, he didn’t want me to fall again and hurt myself more. The chivalrous guy he is, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried to talk to me and I tried to stop crying and engage in a real conversation with him.

When we got to my apartment building he said goodbye and let me walk up the stairs by myself. Once I got in the door I went to the bathroom to start washing off my face. My roommate heard the door shut and the water running so she walked into the bathroom and saw all the bloodied paper towels and the now red sink. With wide eyes she asked what happened and when she started gagging I summed up what happened to me; I fell, guys mopped up my blood, and one guy walked me home. She went back to her room after giving me a quick hug.

While all this was happening my brother had been calling me like crazy wondering where I was. However, since my phone was on silent it was kind of fruitless. When I did finally look at my phone, I saw that I had seven missed calls. I heard a knock so I went and answered the door and it’s my brother. Seeing my swollen nose and the remnants of blood he just takes me in his arms while I cry a little more. My roommate comes out and asks “Is this the guy who walked you home?” Noble and I start laughing as I explain that he’s my brother and then tell him all that transpired in the last 20 minutes. I never saw any of those guys again and I’m kind of glad. My face would turn as red as the blood that covered it the last time we encountered each other.

Hospital Home Girl

I am quite familiar with hospitals. When I was five I broke my elbow and received a hot pink cast. The doctor didn’t believe I’d broken my elbow until he saw the X-ray. When I was thirteen I was having problems with my hearing. I went to audiologists time and time again but they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They said it was like when an old person loses their hearing; the cochlea understands it but it does get deciphered by the brain. Yay! Medical anomaly they made me go to way too many doctors for. Then I started to lose the movement in the right side of my face at fourteen. We went to my main doctor for him to basically send me to another doctor after saying I’m not old enough to have Bell’s palsy. Yay! Anomaly 2!

                The new doctor he sent me to was a neurologist. He did a lot of silly tests. He had me smell different things. He tested if I had feeling in my hands and face. He tested my hearing. Ha! Join the club! He tested my reflexes. He made me run up and down a hallway about 15 times. After the fifth time I started looking to him like “can I stop?” He motioned for me to keep going and around the tenth or eleventh time he told my mom that most teenagers would swear at him by this time. After all of his weird tests he ordered an MRI. If you’ve never had an MRI they suck. I mean it’s nice to lie down but that makes you want to fall asleep but if you move too much they have to take that image over. Also, it is super loud! And if you have claustrophobia, you better ask to be sedated because the MRI is a tube they insert you into and the top is barely five inches away from your face.

                Because they scheduled the MRI on the 23^rd of December, no one was around to read my MRI results. The doctors had all gone on their Christmas vacations. So my mom made an appointment with and ear, nose, and throat doctor as soon as offices opened up again which was well into January. The ENT told me that there was a tumor in my brain. As it happens, a pediatric neurosurgeon was in Reno that day. He’s from California and only makes the trip to Reno once a month. I was able to meet with him after waiting for all his other appointments to finish.

                This neurosurgeon said that he would do my brain surgery but we’d have to go to his hospital in California. They used this brand new state of the art equipment that I didn’t understand very much. Probably cost my parents a pretty penny. He got what he could of the tumor then did a biopsy to find that it was cancerous. However, I was out for that. I was in an induced coma for two or three days. When I started to wake up I felt like I was in a Walmart because in the ICU you can hear everyone’s heart monitor and it sounded like all the check-out machines in a Walmart. The next thing I remember was having these compression things on my legs and I hated them. I wanted them off immediately! However I’d have to be able to walk to get them off thus they stayed on until I got out of the ICU.

                When I got into an actual hospital room they started talking about cancer treatment. The hospital that did my treatment offered two different protocols but did not offer me the choice to choose. In both I would lose my hearing and only had 50%chance of survival. One treatment was nine months and the other was two years. My mother researched other options and saw that a different hospital offered a 65% chance of survival. 15% more is a lot better than nothing. So she emailed the doctor that headed up that protocol and he promised he would do everything in his power to save my hearing and my life.

                At that hospital I went through 33 round of the most intense radiation a human can receive and 4 rounds of in-hospital chemotherapy. The cancer had spread to my spine so they had to radiate my whole torso as well as my skull. When my white blood cell count was still high they siphoned off me stem cells so they could inject them into me when my counts were really low to help my body recover quicker. I probably vomited more during those 8 months than the average human does in their life. I totally want to put on my resume that I am a professional barf-er.

                During my cancer treatment my legs acquired neuropathy which means my muscles didn’t respond to the messages my brain sent through my nerves. That meant that I rocked leg braces and a walker for a year of high school. It also meant that I got cast as the old lady in all of the plays that year. After I graduated from those things and could walk without them I received two facial surgeries in Boston. From those surgeries I got about 12 scars. I’d look pretty garish in a bikini without one of my wigs on.

                If that isn’t enough proof that I know my way around hospitals, I could tell you about all the checkups had after cancer treatment. For thirty-six months after cancer treatment I had checkups every three months. For the next two years I had them every six months. Then, for the next five years I’d have them every year. I’m proud to say I only have three more before I’m truly free of this cancer hospital. 

My Date with a Girl Hungry RM

My Date with a Girl Hungry RM

When I was a brand new freshman here at BYU Idaho I was walking to class and a guy walked up me and asked if I knew where the Taylor building was. Since that was the building I was headed to I told him he could just walk with me there. Now, hindsight being 20/20 I should have figured this guy was up to something because it was the third or fourth week of the semester and if you don’t know where buildings are by then you’re kind of a lost cause.

We talked for a little bit while we walked and I found out his name was Mike. When we got to the Taylor building he practically followed me to my classroom until I told him I had to go. He asked if I would go to dinner with him that night and I told him I was hanging out with a friend. I was actually going out on a date with a different guy that night but Mike didn’t need to know that. Anyway, he looked really sad and upset about it so I said maybe we could go out the next day. I made the horrible mistake of giving him my number so we could figure out the details of our date. The second my class ended Mike texted with various questions, trying to get to know me. I humored him for about half an hour and then told him I had to get my homework done. He left me alone for about twenty minutes before he started texting again and they came like bullets, not waiting for me to respond before sending another one. After about an hour of him doing this I told him that if he didn’t stop texting me I wouldn’t be able to get my homework done and then I would be too busy to go out with him tomorrow. That kept him quiet for about an hour.

That evening on my date I just turned off my phone so it wouldn’t go off every five seconds. When I got home from that date I went to sleep without reading any of the texts Mike sent. The next morning I had a 7:45 class so I was up before any of my other roommates and I finally read all Mike’s texts while I ate breakfast. Towards the end I nearly choked on my cereal. Are you kidding me?! Why would you tell someone that! One of his last texts said “I intend to make you my girlfriend.” What the crap!!! You don’t say that to people unless you want to drive them away! I put my empty bowl in the dishwasher and left for class musing about how I might respond.

As I got to class I decided not to respond. Later that day he asked if I wanted to go to the movies on our date. Actually, he did ask so much as tell me we were going to the movies. I was freaking out a little bit because I’m this little girl barely out of high school and I was going to be in a dark place for two or more hours with this guy I didn’t know from Adam. Do you see my train of thought? So I asked my roommate if she would come to the movie and sit behind me to save me if the guy tried anything. She agreed to do that but then Mike texted saying the movie he wanted to see was no longer showing there. Phew, one bullet dodged.

I didn’t even want to go with the guy anymore but I didn’t have the heart and tell him that he was the creepiest guy I ever met so I decided to suck it up and go bowling with him. He said we should make it interesting and “bet” that whoever lost had to do something for the winner. That didn’t make me feel any better. Anyway, despite my best efforts I lost horribly. I asked him what he wanted and he said he had to think about it. I internally groaned as horrifying things flashed through my brain. He then wanted to take me to dinner and since it was only four o’clock I told him I wasn’t hungry yet. Not because I wanted to prolong this agony but because I felt that since I agreed to do dinner I figured he should get to buy me dinner. J

We started walking to “work up my appetite” and I noticed we were walking toward the temple. Oh, uh-uh gangster. That’s not happening. My older roommates had warned me not to go to the temple grounds with any guy unless I was serious about him. If this guy thought that he could get a girl who met him yesterday to go to the temple with him, he had another thing coming! So I made him stop at a bench explaining that I was tired from the day and didn’t want to walk all the way up there. So we stopped at the bench and started talking again. I found out that he came home from his mission a week before the semester started and I though Great, I’m going out with and RM that is just starving for some female interaction and I’m the injured gazelle he set his sights on. So at barely five o’clock I said that I was now ready for dinner so we went to the Crossroads and got some food.

Really I just wanted to get away from him as fast as I could in a polite manner. Running through my head was the joke my mom told about the girl going out one night with a guy on the golf team and asking for a kiss and getting as little peck, then going out with the quarter back of the football team and getting a little bit more of a kiss. Then the night after that she goes out with a new RM and he basically attacks her for a kiss. I was trying to get out of there before that happened. So as we finished eating I decided to dump some water of his little flame of hope that I would succumb to his fantasies and told him that I didn’t want to be his girlfriend. He got really pouty and spiteful and was very immature about hearing this news.

Assuming that I had concluded the date with that statement, I gathered my stuff, said goodbye and went on my way. However, the date was not finished in his mind and he followed me to the library where I went to print something off. He asked me if I would still do the thing he wanted and said that agreement was nullified. But Then I got curious and asked what he would have made me do. He muttered something about a nursery rhyme and I asked if he was going to have me recite some nursery rhyme to embarrass myself. He then started the nursery rhyme about two people sitting in a tree. You know, “John and Jane sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” I didn’t let him get to the spelling when I burst out with a guffaw of disbelief at this guy’s guts. To even bring it up now seemed ludicrous to me. He continued to follow me home and said that he was trying to be bad at bowling so I would win and that made me feel so much better because I knew just how awful I was, not being able to beat a guy trying to lose.

I’m glad to say he never texted or called me ever again but he did start bugging my roommate’s friend. I know I should feel bad for the guy but, and I know I’m going to hell for saying this, I mostly feel bad for the woman who got roped into marrying him.

The Games

For this assignment I was supposed to write the same kind of scene from two different points of view. Here are the results. This is actually and excerpt from a larger story. If you’re curious about it just comment and ask.

3^rd person Omniscient

As Lil raced through the simulator for the fiftieth and final lap of this session all she could think about was Emmi and getting her better. Emmi had been sick for several months but she was even sweeter than before. She felt really conflicted about Lil spending all her time training and working out for her. Emmi was sad that that Lil didn’t have much of a life anymore but touched that she would do that for her. Lil thought she was the only person concerned about Emmi and that no one else cared enough to be in the games but she was wrong. When Kat took the casserole out of the oven a tear fell from her eye as she thought about Emmi and how Lil training every waking moment, hardly ever taking a rest trying to save our favorite little girl was ruining her relationships with people. Begrudgingly Kat called Lil to dinner knowing there was an argument waiting for her.

Stream of Consciousness

It’s for Emmi. It’s all for Emmi. Just over that log and this lap is over. Then I can rest. Come closer little log! I need to cross you for Emmi! I have to make it to the end so I can win the games for Emmi. I have to win the medicine to make her better. She shouldn’t be in that bed anymore. She should be out dancing and playing like the other kids her age. What? Why did the simulator turn off? Ugh, stupid Kat. Why doesn’t she understand that winning the games is more important than eating dinner? I was almost done too! Well I’ll have to do twenty drop sets to make up for that time I just lost. Fine I’ll go eat a few bites then I’m back training. I have to do some burpees, deadlifts, and dips before going to bed. I have to win this thing. I have to get Emmi better. No one else is trying to.

Creative Writing

So I decided that if I'm going to be a blogger again I might as well post what I've been doing and a lot of that is writing short stories or creative non fiction. So I'm going to be posting those things and I want you guys to comment and say how I can improve them.  Here are some silly poems:

If I Ruled the World

If I could rule the world and change anything I wanted,

Here’s a list of the things I would change;

No one would have the option of lying when it comes to romantic interests,

This would make dating a lot simpler;

“I like you. Would you like to go out on a date?”

“No thank you. I don’t like you that way”

The dance of sparing feelings is completely irrelevant here. 

Little boys would start school at age 7 and we’d all go for only 10 years instead of 12

Boys’ brains are not developmentally mature enough to sit still for hours to

Learn to read and write when they’re five years old

I’m only thinking of them.

No colleges would make their students pay an arm and a leg to attend or even apply

I mean how stupid is that?

“Before you have earned any real money that a college education will give you the ability to earn,

We’re going to make you pay your entire life saving to apply to a million schools

That will reject you anyway”

It’s all online anyways

Same with the ACTs, SATs and AP tests

STUPID

That’s all I have to say about that.

There would be no such thing as slow internet

I mean seriously, why do we pay that much in rent anyway?

I’ve calculated it and my apartment alone pays about $6,000 in rent every semester

Utilities for one apartment is NOT that much for three months

I mean, we even clean the place for heaven’s sake!

A work place cannot deny a person the privilege to work the because

They “don’t need to have previous work experience“

One can’t get work experience if no one will hire them for their lack of experience

Morons

You should not be allowed to sign up for more than 14 credits

Any more credits just result in frustration, tears, and retaking the class anyway.

A majority of the homework assigned should be enjoyable

This way I don’t want to beat my brains out every evening

We basically don’t need anything that we do outside of class anyway if we take good notes

Why not make this necessity as painless as possible?

There should only be literature that is enjoyable to read thus textbooks do not exist

I mean seriously, if we could choose a way to spend time it’s not going to be spent

Struggling over text that doesn’t matter in the real world.

Sadly, I do not control the world

Therefore necessary tasks are confusing and frequently miserable

Creating a hatred for everyday tasks.

Halloween

On this Halloween,

Black cats will be seen

Those pumpkins will gleam

And witches shall scream.

But don’t make a scene

Though you might turn white

It’s all out of fright

For you’re on edge tonight.

To Daddy

To my daddy dear,

Who I dearly wish was near,

You will always have my heart

Even when I want to start

My very own family

You’ll still important be

Because my kids shall know

How much I love you so

Though there may come a day

When you may give me away

To a man who loves me so

I must make you know

That I’ll always and forever be

You’re precious and beloved Devree. 

Dating Post

I didn’t mean to lie to you guys, things just got busy. Here is the long awaited Dating Post.

In Greek there are four words for love: Storge, pillia, eros, and agape.

Storge is the love of a parent for their child. The love that makes you want to protect and care for them, to love them unconditionally.

Pillia is the love friends share, warm and close. It’s intimate, a brotherly kind of lofe.

Eros is romantic love. It’s physical and makes you longing to be together.

Agape is the kind of love related to charity, the pure love of Christ.

Have you ever heard the term Misattribution of affection? It means when you feel something – butterflies, heart races, shortness of breath, etc. – and you think it’s love. Sorry to break it to you but you might just have indigestion.

In class we related the 3 P’s of dating to the 3 Ps of fatherhood according to The Family:

You can find the Family Proclamation to the World here: https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&cid=PA0414-02 Studies have found that men who take the responsibility to pay for the dates tend to be better providers in marriage and fatherhood. Things to think about; When paired off on a date the man should protect his date as he would his wife from media and other men. Studies have found that men who take the responsibility to pay for the dates tend to be better providers in marriage and fatherhood. Men who plan the dates tend to preside better in the home. For example a man who sets the pattern of planning activities can call the family to prayer or to the car to leave for a family event.

Casual dating is alive and well despite what you single folks might think. However you must be interested in a date, not a mate. The sole purpose of casual dating is NOT to find someone to date seriously. It’s just casual.

Some suggestions?

1.       Throw away the class slipper. Don’t get infatuated in finding that “one perfect fit.” There are many people that fit certain shoes, see a Payless if you need further explanation.

2.       Don’t wait for others to look for and find you.

a.       Lower the bar that men must jump over before you even consider them.

3.       Exercise faith and have courage in dating and marriage

a.       A good marriage comes from working through trials together, through experience

4.       Keep physical intimacy at an appropriate level as to enjoy being worthy to seal your commitment to each other in the temple.

a.       Too much intimacy too soon is not the Lord’s way.

5.       “Pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you”

a.       Pray for others when dating, not just yourself.

b.      Show through your actions what your priorities are and make sure family is one of them.

To help you in your dating endeavors here are 5 ideas for future dates:

1.       Make dinner together and play a board game

2.       Go to a play or comedy show together then get ice cream

3.       Go for a walk and talk together

4.       Volunteer or serve together

5.       Have a theme night where you eat the food of that culture and do an activity ie: Mexican night, Chinese night

Do you guys know the word “Propinquity?” This is the first filter applied when deciding on a mate. Basically it’s their nearness or you access to that person which influences wanting to marry that person.

There is a kind of equation regarding knowing a person and wanting to marry them. It’s called “The Know Quo.” It looks like this:

This is all I have to say about dating. If you find something else interesting to share, put it in a comment! 

Episode 3: All Sorts of Models

Hey friends! Sorry I missed the last couple of weeks. Things got pretty crazy. Now we have many things to talk about. First thing is to talk about family dynamics. One dynamic is a diffused boundary. A diffused boundary is a sort of boundary but not really. Like the pirate code, it’s not really a rule it’s a guideline. An example is a house with empty arches rather than locked doors. This is the family that’s very open. The parents who have an open door policy. The extended family that lives all on the same street corner and visit without calling first, all the time.

           Next class we did a role play of a family moving from Mexico to the United States. There was a father, mother, son, and daughter (that was me). They were the ideal family. The ideal family looks like this: 

The husband and the wife have their own kind of subsystem and the family is the system. Then there was a grandma, grandpa, cousin and uncle. The father was going to go to set up things for the rest of the family. It was only supposed to be six months that he was there without them but it ended up being three years. After all that time away from the father the family dynamic wasn’t the same. After all that time apart the family dynamic looked more like this:

The husband and father became cut off from the family and the wife depended more on the extended family. After the family was all together in America it was never the same between the family.

                The next class we talked about gender and the differences between them. The main reason there is difference is so there is balance between them.  Here’s a table of differences:

There was a study that found that within weeks of birth girls will form their mouth and “talk” to their parents whereas boys do not. Also, fathers tend not to feel close to their infant until the child interacts with them. For example, if the child will coo and smile in response to something the father does, he will find a better connection than logically know the infant is his offspring. However, The mother is immediately bound to the child because of Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the chemical that creates bonding. This chemical flows in women while they are giving birth and nursing.

                The next class we discussed why certain men become gay. I know, you’re going to uproar and say “no they’re born that way!” I’m not going to spend time arguing, here’s and article: http://www.redflagnews.com/headlines/identical-twin-studies-prove-homosexuality-is-not-genetic  Anyway, we talked about femininity and the definition being “emotionally sensitive, loves clothing and fashion, pitch and tone of voice, delicate, nurturing, creative, and compassionate. Now this list describes the guy that would show up on your “gay-dar.” However, when Bro. Williams asked the girls of the class if we’d like a husband who is each of these things we raised our hands for a majority, if not all, of them.

                We talked about the “Exotic Becomes Erotic” (EBE) Model which is basically showing the path one goes down before deciding homosexuality. It basically starts with them being different.

If we factor in that they are different than the average bear and their temperament that starts the wheels. This is how things tend to go I’m not making an official statement about how people’s brains work.  However, research shows that boys tend to need a stronger relationship with their father and that lack of relationship is often a factor. What I’ve learned from this information is that I need to urge my husband to develop strong relationships with my sons, no matter what age. 

               That's all for now folks. Tune in later this week for a mini episode about dating!

Episode 2: Trends are Not So Trendy

Hello friends! So this last week we only went to class once and so I'm going to talk about last week a little more.We talked a lot about trends.One of the useful website we looked at was this website.

Some trends of the worlds today are: premarital sex, delaying marriage, out-of-wedlock births, living alone, cohabitation, birthrate decreasing, household size decreasing, more employed mothers, and increase in divorce. Can you point out one that correlates with another or one that starts a domino effect? Let’s talk about each individually.

Premarital sex tends to related to cohabitation. Some people might say that if you’re giving the milk for free, what’s the sense in buying the cow? A lot of people see it as an unnecessary step if they are already living together. Studies show that couples who have sex before marriage are more likely to get a divorce. I don’t know if they’re thinking “I’ve had better” or what but that’s just what statistics say.  

 Premarital sex is also related to illegitimate births. If you’re unmarried, have sex, and get pregnant, it’s likely that you will bear an illegitimate child. Then, to care for this child a mother must get a job and thus there is one more employed mother in the world. 

Also, premarital sex and cohabitation have something to do with delaying marriage. More and more people want to do a “trial run” of what marriage will be like when they move in together. Because of the delay in marriage people have started their careers and create goals of getting promoted before raising children and by the time they are to that point they’ve missed the prime time to conceive. This decreases birthrate as well as household size in one blow. 

Can you think of any other correlations I haven’t addressed? Comment and tell me which ones I’ve missed.

So let’s define some things here:

Population is the total number of human beings in whatever area you are finding the population of.

Birthrate is the number of births per thousand people and this is decreasing greatly.

Fertility rate is how many children a woman has within her life. That doesn’t mean how many of her children have grown to adulthood but how many she has birthed. Studies show that access to soap and clean water greatly increases the number of children who will grow to adulthood.

So, if you haven’t figured out by the various terms I just defined, the number of children to adopt is going down with every passing year. Now, a little backstory for me, when I was going through treatment for brain cancer they had to radiate all my female plumbing because the cancer had spread to my spine. That left me very unlikely to ever conceive or bear children. Whenever I bring this up people always, without fail, say “you can always adopt.” I knew the waiting list for adoption was long but I didn’t know that eight or nine years on that wait list was the norm! And it seemed to be getting longer all the time. So needless to say, after that day in class, I kind of felt like a gutted pumpkin. I had just had a rug ripped out from under me. I was now hearing that the thing I was counting on for me to ever have children was being ripped away too. I know that seems melodramatic but that’s how I felt. 

Then our teacher started talking about foster care and how there are 500,000 children within America every year. I’d always kind of shied away from foster care because I’m afraid of becoming attached to a child then having him taken away from me. I also fear having a child placed in my care who is older and knows that I’m a “temporary parent” until their parent shapes up or they get moved somewhere else. You always hear the stories of children moving from one home to another when they are in foster care. I know that’s not every case but those are my fears. 

The last class I went to we talked about various kinds of theories. A theory tries to explain phenomena.

Systems theory is looking at the whole system and not just pieces. For example, family is a system and is a whole, not just pieces.

Conflict theory is that some systems have more power than others. Like, certain classes are wealthier than others. Or like faculty has more say over how the school is run than the students do. Conflict is inherent, it’s going to happen no matter what. However, conflict isn’t always argument, it’s just decisions that must be made that both parties don’t agree on initially.

Exchange theory is that we want to get at least as much as we give. This explains why I broke up with my boyfriend; I was putting an immense amount into our relationship and was getting bubkis back and believed I deserved something back.

Symbolic Interaction Theory is that everyone interprets various actions or “symbols’ differently. Going back to that relationship, I was giving him all these different symbols of what I interpreted as hints of what I wanted in return and he might of seen it as “I’m doing all right if she still invests all this.” We must share the things we know, not just what we think, feel, and speculate about it. 

Well that’s all for this week kids. Come back next week for Episode 3!