Episode 3: All Sorts of Models

Hey friends! Sorry I missed the last couple of weeks. Things got pretty crazy. Now we have many things to talk about. First thing is to talk about family dynamics. One dynamic is a diffused boundary. A diffused boundary is a sort of boundary but not really. Like the pirate code, it’s not really a rule it’s a guideline. An example is a house with empty arches rather than locked doors. This is the family that’s very open. The parents who have an open door policy. The extended family that lives all on the same street corner and visit without calling first, all the time.

           Next class we did a role play of a family moving from Mexico to the United States. There was a father, mother, son, and daughter (that was me). They were the ideal family. The ideal family looks like this: 

The husband and the wife have their own kind of subsystem and the family is the system. Then there was a grandma, grandpa, cousin and uncle. The father was going to go to set up things for the rest of the family. It was only supposed to be six months that he was there without them but it ended up being three years. After all that time away from the father the family dynamic wasn’t the same. After all that time apart the family dynamic looked more like this:

The husband and father became cut off from the family and the wife depended more on the extended family. After the family was all together in America it was never the same between the family.

                The next class we talked about gender and the differences between them. The main reason there is difference is so there is balance between them.  Here’s a table of differences:

There was a study that found that within weeks of birth girls will form their mouth and “talk” to their parents whereas boys do not. Also, fathers tend not to feel close to their infant until the child interacts with them. For example, if the child will coo and smile in response to something the father does, he will find a better connection than logically know the infant is his offspring. However, The mother is immediately bound to the child because of Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the chemical that creates bonding. This chemical flows in women while they are giving birth and nursing.

                The next class we discussed why certain men become gay. I know, you’re going to uproar and say “no they’re born that way!” I’m not going to spend time arguing, here’s and article: http://www.redflagnews.com/headlines/identical-twin-studies-prove-homosexuality-is-not-genetic  Anyway, we talked about femininity and the definition being “emotionally sensitive, loves clothing and fashion, pitch and tone of voice, delicate, nurturing, creative, and compassionate. Now this list describes the guy that would show up on your “gay-dar.” However, when Bro. Williams asked the girls of the class if we’d like a husband who is each of these things we raised our hands for a majority, if not all, of them.

                We talked about the “Exotic Becomes Erotic” (EBE) Model which is basically showing the path one goes down before deciding homosexuality. It basically starts with them being different.

If we factor in that they are different than the average bear and their temperament that starts the wheels. This is how things tend to go I’m not making an official statement about how people’s brains work.  However, research shows that boys tend to need a stronger relationship with their father and that lack of relationship is often a factor. What I’ve learned from this information is that I need to urge my husband to develop strong relationships with my sons, no matter what age. 

               That's all for now folks. Tune in later this week for a mini episode about dating!