I have this really weird feeling right now. I feel both unrestrained in my desires and my abilities but
limited because of my physical and financial abilities. I have dreams and things I want to accomplish
and I can’t even calm down enough to fully look into one thing before another thought hits me of a
productive thing I could also be doing. I have all these goals and all these wishes that I want to happen
instantaneously because that’s how fast they are hitting and I don’t even have time to sit and plan or
think about a single one because I keep getting hit with new thoughts and ideas and things to research.
I have all these things I want to accomplish but I can’t because my skin is keeping me in one place and
there aren’t people to interact with. I feel like I have no fears, no limitations and it is fantastic and
frustrating because I want to be faster but I know if I was I would run out of things to occupy my time
and attention. I almost want to veg out and watch TV because that wouldn’t require my brain to move
so fast but I don’t even want to do that because I have thoughts and desires and I want to talk to
people and share my stream of consciousness like I’m doing. I want to go back to work so I have
money to spend on various things to help me meet my goals/dreams. I know the doctors told me
I’m dying but I don’t feel like I am. I feel like I am starting my life now as a totally unhindered human
and i’m invincible! I have so much I want and NEED TO ACCOMPLISH! So you better catch up world.
This is also frustrating that my mind is moving so fast and I move from thought to thought so fast that I
forget what I was doing and mentally kick myself for not following through because it was a good
intention.
